Ploughmans CC vs Ottershaw CC (Home) Saturday 28th August 2021

Match report

It was an early start for the men in navy blue and gold and after some panic after Logan Cassin announced he was running late and Lonnen nearly losing his sh*t… classic angry dad behaviour. It wouldn’t matter much as Ottershaw only had 3 cricket players at the allowed start time and according to the league rules Ottershaw forfeited the toss and were due to lose 2 overs for every 7 minutes that they didn’t have 8 people ready to play cricket in South London.

Dee, a handy batsman for the opposition, arrived before anyone else had made it known that today was already going to be a tough game for them as they didn’t have their best 11. This was made apparent when a bunch of spotty faced, prepubescent boys came down and joined the opponents – Iskander’s mate’s I am told… Dee was right. 35 minutes later, Ottershaw cricket club’s opening batting pair were finally allowed to take to the crease in what can only be described as one of the most soul destroying victories I have ever been a part of.

The timeless opening partnership of Ashish “Puff” Paul and Matt “Bush” Bolshaw took the cherry in their hands and all chaos ensued. Rumour has it, Ottershaw had places to be that afternoon and wanted to miss the rush hour as it was honestly one of the strangest batting performances ever seen with wickets falling in a very similar fashion. Puff bowled majestically at the other end, beating the bat countless times and taking a few wickets of his own keeping the timeless Ben Hamilton interested with two catches behind the bat. But this was a one man show, if truth be told. Matt Bolshaw. He ended with 7 wickets for 18 runs which ended up being 60% of their total runs – sort it out Bush…

Bolshaw managed:

1 bowled

6 caught (4 by Max at Long anywhere, 1 by Duray at (shock) gully and 1 by Barraz at point.)

A fake hatrick and in general… 

To spoil everyone’s Saturday.

Ottershaw Cricket club all bowled out for 30 in their innings (yes, you read that correct) with the last 5 wickets managing a total of 1 run between them. I think it is fair to say that the Ottershaw tail did not wag…  With the umpires suggesting we get on with it… Logan and Britto strolled out to the crease 10 minutes later and Max got to work on trying to sort the iPad out.

Ottershaw have traditionally had a pretty strong bowling line up so Britto was keen to avoid complacency as he blocked their quick opening bowler out.

The other bowler was less lucky as he had to bowl to the ruthless Logan Cassin who made up for lost time by dispatching their opening bowler for 10 runs an over. Luckily Ottershaw were kind enough to leave one of their under 18 year olds with the opportunity to come on and bowl to an impatient Logan. Poor “Codie” managed to get through just 3 balls before Logan decided to spoil his day too by hitting him for a MASSIVE 6 over long on.

What followed was a bizarre underwhelming feeling and rumours of the slow death of this Surrey cricket league as we made our way back to the bar before 3pm. Beers were had and some even went to spend time with our significant others on a SATURDAY while Max continued his battle against the iPad long into the night.

Thanks for comings to some very accomplished all rounders including:

Tom Lonnen, CRS and Oli Lonsdale (who I am told – did not touch the ball the entire game. Rumour has it we were just resting him for the next game).

Let’s hope our friends and rivals at Ottershaw cricket club are able to recruit some more depth this winter and come back stronger next season.





  • Share: